Exhaustion

i feel exhausted. 3 hours of sleep doesn't do the body good. i've cried so much in the past two days, and it has physically drained me of all energy. i think this morning's goodbye was the hardest one so far, which led to more tears. i love him, more than i have ever loved anyone or anything.

last night as we lay in his bed, i saw he had a eyelash on his cheek.

"make a wish."

"i already have my wish."

god damn he's good, and it made me cry, because i know that he really loves me, and that isn't always the easiest thing to come by.

as we said goodbye this morning, we didn't want to let go. the tsa guy that checked him in at the security check point said something to him and nodded to me. i later found out he asked "will you come back for her?" his answer: "of course." as he climbed the escalator, we said our last i love yous & i saw him cry for the first time.

i feel depressed at the moment, and it sucks. i know it'll pass, and i know that i can make it three months since i've done it about 4 times now, but right now i just feel so fucking down. i get so used to him being here, i can just walk into his room at any point and kiss his gorgeous face. i can lay with him until 1 in the morning with his arms wrapped tightly around my body and know nothing can get to me. i'm with him all the time when he's here, and it's hard to not grow dependent of that.

i really cannot wait to graduate to be with him. i want him forever, and he wants the same.

sigh.