Do you have any suggestions for solo male play? Opinions on nipple clamps on men?

Hmm, this one is a little hard for me to answer, since I don't have much experience with a dick.

BUT, if I had one, I would rub all sorts or things on & around my dick. I'd wrap silk or satin scarves around it and gently glide it up and down. I'd find something tight to push my cock into so I could feel something different. I'd take some tingly lube and rub it from my ass to the head and touch myself while playing with my nipples. That kinda stuff ;)

Ask me anything

you stopped blogging and I started to cry...

I'm sorry. I've really been outta blogging the past few months. I've just been too busy, and words no longer come to me like they used to.

Don't worry, Edward and I still have hot sex whenever we see one another.

Ask me anything

Weightless Sex

me & edward have experienced something new together: we got high. not only did we get high off of disgusting weed cookies, we fucked, and it was good.

i just can't describe what it was like. i'm sure those of you that have gotten high know the feeling, but it was so different than being drunk. my body felt weightless, every touch was 100,000x intensified. kisses felt so amazingly different, it definitely was a great night. anal when you're high feels so fucking good. especially rough anal.

all in all, we had a whole lotta fun, and have agreed we will try it again. but this time through a fast delivery method ;)

ps. i'm sorry for skimping on details, i've kinda outgrown my blogging phase. i just don't feel like writing everything anymore, i guess it's just that time. i still read all of your blogs, and i will update once in a while. hope all you lovely people are well :)

Recap of tonight

i just played with myself for 55 minutes straight, with the help of edward. for 55 long, painfully teasing, hot minutes, i rubbed my hands over my body, rubbed my pussy, & shoved a finger in my ass. i am exhausted; my body had three huge releases. i am going to ache and be sore tomorrow for sure.

the entire time, he just watched me play with myself. he told me how badly he wants to do things to me in 2 weeks. basically, the whole ride home he's going to tease me by whipping out his cock & stroking it while i drive. he's going to slip his hand into my wet, eager pussy and play with me until i tell him to stop (he probably won't stop). he's going to tease me the entire ride back from LAX at midnight. i so look forward to it.

i look forward to once we get home though. he told me the first thing he wants to do is fuck a little in my car, or at least get some teasing head. as we step out of the car, he's going to bend me over the trunk, lift up my dress, and fuck me. it'll be about 2 am so no one should be outside, but the thought of having someone watching me bent over my trunk getting pounded from behind turns me on like crazy. once we get to the porch, he's going to drop to his knees and lick my cunt. as we enter the house, he's going to bend me over again in the foyer and fuck me some more. as we go up the stairs, he's going to play with my dripping pussy until we reach my room. in there, he's gonna fuck me & not stop until he either comes deep inside my ass or deep down my throat. i can't fucking wait.

after he said all of this to me, he teased me by having me rub my cunt really hard then slowing down, then stopping and rubbing my body. we did this like 5 times and each time i wanted to come that much more. finally, i had a huge release. at this point, he grabbed his rock hard dick and stroked himself. i came another time and then a final time. right after i came, i saw him shoot come all over his stomach.

it was a hot fucking night.

Short Dresses & Sex

edward is one horny man. last night he told me he wants me to wear a short, tight dress when i pick him up from the airport in three weeks. he wants this so he can touch me as we drive home. it's going to be one hard trip back.

i have a short, flowy dress that i'm opting for. it's so short that i can't get out of the car for fear that i will flash everyone at LAX (i have yet to decide if i'm going to wear panties). when i asked him what he's going to do to me in said dress his response was this:

"fuck you and probably cum in your face. then afterwards probably eat you out under the dress."

fuck, he turns me on. i'm gonna be his slut and wear my skimpy dress with no bra, and more than likely no panties. i bet we'll pull over somewhere secluded where we can fuck each other. i'm actually dying to have my pussy licked, you have no idea.

Was Edward your first sexual partner? Also, have you told on here about your first time with him, because I havent found it?

edward is my first sexual partner. i don't think i did write about it, but i definitely can write about the first time we messed around. the sex just sorta happened unexpectedly.

Ask me anything

can u spice up ur blog? i'm getting bored n it used to be so good lol.

unfortunately, nothing 'spicey' has happened. i'm sorry that it's boring to you, but my life is just sort of bland right now. it's drama free with no sex, so that leaves little for me to write.

Ask me anything

do you have any girl friends interested in older guys, say 33?

i know who this is, and no, i don't. sorry babe.

Ask me anything

Yeah, I did it

or should i say we. me & edward did something today in the midst of mind blowing, touchy-feely, passionate sex. lemme go in order:

after a long day in another state and then heading back to our state, we were tired but horny. the whole ride home he'd grab my tits & i'd massage his dick over his pants. he decided he was horny enough & we were going to go to our sex motel. so we did, and it was amazing.

as soon as we walk in he stripped his pants and got on top of me, kissing me vigorously. from the bed, we both moved to the floor completely naked where he fingered me & rubbed his incredibly hard dick against my clit.

i wanted to fuck in the shower, so as i waited for the water to warm up, he pinned me against the wall & kissed, nibbled, and licked my neck & tits. as we messed around in the shower, he told me he wanted to do something to me; i knew what it was right away.

as i made sure i was completely clean, i bent over in the shower. he spread my ass and said, "ready?" i replied, "yeah." even though i was slightly nervous. within a second, i felt his warm tongue sliding over my asshole. it felt a-m-a-z-i-n-g. seriously, i never thought it would feel that good but it fucking did. when he finished with me, i decided i wanted to do it to him. he cleaned himself off, i spread his ass, asked "ready?" & licked his ass. he loved it.

we did it a few times more to each other, and messed around a little more in the shower until i told him i wanted him in my ass now. he bent me over, pushed in his cock & pounded my ass. & then he came deep inside it. lovely tuesday ;)

*just a side note. i know some may feel uncomfortable about what i did. i didn't even think i would be into it until he did it to me, and i definitely didn't think i would lick him. but, we're in love, trust each other, and want to have fun sex lives. i recommend it to couples who are open to a new experience.

Saturday & Sunday

me & edward spent this past weekend together. we got a room at our favorite sex hotel saturday around noon & spent the majority of 24 hours lounging naked around the room & having mind blowing sex. he came up with a few newish positions and they were fucking amazing. i was fucked every way possible saturday & sunday. i've had cock in my mouth, pussy, and ass. and boy am i good at sucking dick; i've improved on my technique ;)

overall, it was a fabulous sex-filled weekend with edward. minus a little, well huge, speed bump from my family, all went very well. the sex was so wild and hard that my vagina is sore from all of the pounding, literally. every part of me down there is sore. he worked me hard, and i loved every second of it ;)

p.s. i wonder how many people in the rooms next to us and people who happened to just walk by heard me moaning, i was a bit loud this past weekend.

Car Head

i finally saw edward today since march. of course we were lovey dovey, but you guys wanna know the dirty shit, riiiight? ;) well, here is a recap:

we pulled over in the my grandparents neighborhood and just grabbed each other and kissed. his tongue found mine and we made out for a bit. he kissed, licked, bit, and sucked my neck, making me moan and writhe. i did the same to him and listened to him moan. he felt me up, i massaged his dick over his pants, and he licked my ear. it wasn't long before his pants were unzipped and he was forcing me down on his cock. i gave him slow tantalizing head and finally made him come a huge delicious load into my mouth.

saturday & sunday we're spending the night together, can't wait to see what happens then ;)

High Sex

the other day, i admitted something to edward that i was afraid to admit: i want to get high with him and have sex. i've never been high before, i've never smoked either, and it would be a lie to say i'm not curious about it. my dad smokes "reefer" everyday and he's offered it to me numerous times, but i've always decline cause, well, he's my dad, and that's just awkward.

so i figured since i love sex (who doesn't?) and how it feels, it would probably feel 1000x intensified high. and i'm not talking coke or anything serious, just weed. edward has never done it either, so it would be a first. but when i told him, i expected a flat out no, and instead he said, "i'll think about it."

i was floored. did my boyfriend who just tell me he'd think about it? i don't know why, but it just seemed so weird that he even said that. when i said "what?!" he said, "i know you're excited about it. i'm not saying yes, but i'm not saying no, i'll think about it. and i can tell you're smiling." i don't know why, but i did get kinda excited. i really don't want to get high with anyone but him. most of my friends get high, and they have been pressuring me since junior year of high school, but i always say no. i wanna do it with someone i trust, and i love edward. plus, i think the sex could be incredibly fun ;)

for now though, we're not going to because edward is still contemplating becoming a police officer. if the job he's at right now doesn't take off, he will likely apply for the police academy within the next year and a half. and i guess(?) that when you take the lie detector test, they ask you if you have used any drugs within the last 3 years, so he wants to be safe. if we do, i'll let you know ;)

p.s. does anyone still read this? haha.

Boosh

nothing makes a night better than a hot skype sex session.

just sayin'

Threesomes

so, it's about time i had a post, one about sex at least.

sometime last week me and edward had a semi-lengthy discussion about threesomes. we talked about the pros and cons, and what kind of threesome we would like to have if we ever have one.

of course he wants FMF & i want MFM. i want two guys all over me, and i wanna try DP. he wants two hot chicks all over him making his deepest fantasy come true. but more than anything, he wants to see me fuck a girl. i'm not going to lie, the thought kinda turns me on. he asked me if i would go down on her, and while i say no right now, i don't know how i would react in the moment. would i put my head between her legs and use my tongue on her pussy? to be honest, i'm not sure. but i don't think i would object to her going down on me, fingering me, or fucking me with a dildo. when i told him that, he was pretty turned on and i know he'd love it if it ever happened.

for me, if we ever did MFM, it's not about watching him touch another guy. in fact, i wouldn't want another guy sucking or touching his dick at all. i'd want the focus on me; having a dick in my cunt, a dick in my ass, or a dick in my mouth while i'm bent over taking it from behind. i asked him if seeing another man fuck me would turn him on, and he said he's not sure, but he'd be okay with it if it was only something we did together as a couple.

which leads us to jealousy. by nature, we both tend to get jealous, which is totally normal. but if we were ever to venture out and have a threesome, could we put jealousy past us after it happened? we both don't know the answer yet. if we did MFM, he said he'd probably be jealous, but he'd be okay with it if he knew i never went behind his back and fucked this guy. and he would want to know that when it's just us two, it literally is just us two, and i wouldn't be fantasizing about this other guy.

if we did FMF, it affects me more than him. i can't lie, i'd be terrified that he'd always want to have a threesome with her, or fantasize about her. i wouldn't be afraid he'd leave me, but i'd be afraid that if one day he was home alone bored, he'd call her and fuck her. i know, it appears i have trust issues. and while i trust him in ever aspect, this would be a completely different ballpark. and in all honesty, i think i'd get jealous if he focused more on her than me during the threesome. he told me he wouldn't, because at the end of the day, he still finds me incredible sexy and the most beautiful woman on this planet. that sure makes me feel good ;)

basically, we have decided that we will not do this anytime soon, especially since we live so far from one another. but, we have both agreed that if we decide to in the future (when we're living together), we need to set rules and boundaries and make sure it never effects our relationship. our relationship is our first priority, and until we know there is absolutely no chance of it being fucked up, we won't do it. it will require us both putting aside jealousy and realizing it's just sex. that may not be for years, but i'm open to possibly trying it later on down the line.

Busy, Busy, Busy

i'm sorry, that's pretty much all i can say to those few readers who read my blog faithfully. i've been busy, like really busy. in fact, i should be writing a paper for sociology right this second. some updates are in order:

1. my and edward are doing great. everything is pretty much perfect between us. minus fighting the past three days over dumb things, we had a splendid night tonight talking about having hot sex in june when i get there and threesomes (there will be a post on this hopefully this weekend). i couldn't ask for a more loving boyfriend.
2. school is going really good, and i've done some research and have a pretty good idea of two graduate schools i want to go to. both very good schools, one just more specialized in what i'm looking for. one is 30 minutes away from edward and the other is 2 hours away in another state. if i get into the former, i think he's going to move with me and we'll get an apartment together.
3. i hate my job, and am really contemplating quitting. since i'm taking summer school classes this summer, i'm going to work but i kinda really want to quit by september before school starts. since i'll be going into my senior year (yikes!) and want to graduate my june, i need to take 4 classes per quarter and then 4 next summer. i've never taken 4 classes at a time, mainly cause ima lil bitch. so, i think if i quit i'll have more time for school.
4. i want to find a clinical internship in sex therapy of marriage/family counseling. if i can't find something along those lines, i think i'm going to have to do psychology research for the next year. it would be really beneficial to me to do so.
5. i want to quit but, i don't know if i can financially afford it. i barely make enough at my shit job now, and i don't even shop or blow my money. i use it for gas and food when i need it. so if i quit, i need to make sure i will have saved enough this summer to fall back on if needed next year.

that seems about it right now. again, i'm sorry for being so busy. i know there's only a few of you who read this & despite what you may think, i do love you guys for it :)

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Ask me anything http://formspring.me/racyrendezvous

Dirty

i had turned on my laptop with the intentions of writing about friday night. i wanted to tell you all about how much of a dirty whore edward wants me to be, and how he's going to fuck me like the whore i am. but, i am much too tired and slightly buzzed to do so.

maybe tomorrow. goodnight.

Submissive

i am a sub. there is no doubt in my mind. sure, i occasionally love to dominate edward. i want to make him do things, but more than anything, i love being dominated. i love teasing his neck with kisses and licks, and feeling his hand clench around my hair and push me down to suck his dick as i force against it. i love it. i go nuts over it.

lately, whenever i fantasize about us, i always think about this one thing that happened when he was here last. i was going down on him, and in the midst of it i said something. he told me to repeat myself and i said no. he insisted i tell him, so i told him to make me. within five seconds of me saying that, he grabbed a fistful of hair and wrapped his other hand around my neck. "tell me." he said it with such seriousness and a look of furiousness in his eyes. i couldn't believe it, and what i couldn't believe more was how turned on i became after that, and how badly i wanted to obey his every command.

i constantly play that night over in my head. it turns me on like crazy. none of it scared me, it just amazed me that i am such a sub. i really thought i was about even on both, maybe a wee bit more on the sub side. but i think it's clear i'm definitely submissive. i cannot wait for june when he ties me up and blindfolds me. i can't wait until he smacks my ass as he fucks me. and i can't wait until he forces me down to suck his cock.

TMI Tuesday

1. Commando: Sexy or disgusting? Do you have a "best" commando story?

i rarely go commando. it's not that i don't like it, but edward is hardly here. he does all the time though, and it's always lovely to be greeted by a hard dick when i unbutton his pants.



2. Foreplay: Is there such a thing as too much? Too much?

i love foreplay. i love being licked, sucked, fingered, kissed, everything.


3. Oral sex: Good if you are getting? Good is you are giving? Equally ewwwww?

i love giving & getting. 69 is always fun ;)



4. Orgasm: Is one per night enough or does the first one just get your motor running?

more than one is usually a plus :)



5. Morning sex: "Oh hell yes!", "Well if I have, too." or "Just get in the shower and go to work."

he seems to be riskiest, but we've only done it a few times. it's a yes :)



Bonus (as in optional): Have you ever had anonymous sex? Have you ever had an orgasm without at least knowing your partner's last name?

i've never had anonymous sex. sorry, i'm boring haha

Sexting.

today is one of our monthly-versaries. in honor of that, i decided to be a bad girl & text edward dirty things ;) (italicized is me)

"when we get to the (insert name of hotel we frequent) i'm gonna push you down on the bed & give you mind blowing head. i wanna make you twitch when i lick & nibble your balls"

"i like your plan."

"i want to grind my ass into your dick. i want to feel how hard you are against me. i want you to take control of me & make me do whatever you want."

"again, more good idea. we should totally make time go faster."

"uh huh. i wish you were here, i'm in the mood to have my ass fucked."

"i want hot, heavy, heart pounding sex in june. lots of angles, lots of positions, lots of ache ;)"

"tell me more."

"i want you to ride me until it hurts."

"what else? tell me EVERYTHING. i want to know everything you want."

"i want you to hold my dick in your mouth and i want your mouth to water. i want you to squeeze my dick with your ass while im inside you"

"yeah i remember you like that. more... ;)"

"i want to drip my cum over your face then give me head until i come again."

"that made my nipples hard. & i'm wet. keep going."

"i want to cum in your pussy. then have you blow me."

"i want you to fuck my pussy, then fuck my mouth, & then bend me over & fuck my ass. i want to feel you cum in it."

"i want you to suck my balls."

"what's something we haven't done that you wanna do?"

"weve done like everything. maybe some vibrating panties."

"that sounds really fun. i wanna wear them in public & you tease me with the remote unexpectedly."

at that point he told me exercising has been pumping up his sex drive; he's constantly horny. which is a very good thing for me ;)

"give me one good last txt. one that'll make me wet."

"im going to strip you. rip your clothes off. suck on your hard nipples. suck your clit. and finally, cum in your ass. i want to cum in your pussy so bad."

"mission accomplished, my clit is throbbing. fuck i want you."

that was the last of our texting. this all happened while i was surrounded by tons of students in the library. i was aching to touch myself.

tonight on skype, i didn't think we were gonna. but i showed him my ass & cunt, and well, one thing led to another. i rubbed my wet pussy until he came all over, and then he said dirty things to me causing me to have an orgasm. pretty hot anniversary, huh? ;)

p.s. does anyone know where i can get some affordable, comfortable vibrating panties?

Describe in detail how you get yourself off.

hmm. i usually use my vibrator. when i do, i tease myself mercilessly; i put it right on my clit letting it get me really close then i pull away and rub up & down along my cunt. i close my legs as tight as i can and put it on my clit, which makes me want to come. i do this over and over making me want release bad. and when i can't take it anymore, i either rub it really fast up and down my cunt or put it directly on my clit while closing my legs as tight as i can. within seconds my body is arching and spasms go throughout my entire body.

when i use my fingers (most of the time with edward), i rub really hard on my clit and do the same as above, i make myself beg for it.

Ask me anything

Three

being the amount of times i came tonight as i watched edward stroke his dick. god he gets me going.

Welcome back to CA

i'm going to write this post even though i really should be writing my paper for my group project. without further adieu: edward's first night here.

as we drove home from lax, we talked, sang, and held hands. he was incredibly sweet for the majority of the ride, singing "beautiful girls" to me and kissing my hand. but things changed once we were close to my house. he leaned in and told me, "i'm going to do dirty, dirty things to you tonight. i can't wait to taste your pussy." that alone sent blood straight down to my pussy, making it moist.

after we got to my house, he said his hellos to my mom and called it a night with me following behind him. i needed to change so i went in to my room and closed my door. as i slipped off my panties to put on my thong, he knocked on my door. "don't come in! i'm not dressed, seriously!" "really?" it didn't take long before he came in, shut the door, planted a huge, hungry kiss on my lips, and fingered me vigorously. he smiled and walked out.

in his room we tried to keep it PG, but that didn't last for long. making out and feeling each other, he got up and told me he wanted to go down on me right then and there. i definitely was not prepared for him to do what he did: he pulled off my pajamas and panties and dove in for my cunt. he licked, sucked, and nibbled making me writhe in his bed. he stopped and i told him i was going to go take a shower, so i put my clothes back on. but before i could get up and leave, his head was down on my crotch over my pajama pants licking over it. all of this happened while my brother showered less than 5 feet away from us.

i decided to wait on the shower so we shut off the lights. we started making out again, and he slid his fingers down my panties and fingered me. when he finished, he brought his hands up and sucked my juices off his fingers, and then put his fingers in my mouth. with his fingers still in my mouth, he went in for a kiss so we could both lick his fingers and taste me. his tongue met mine and we continued to make out. within no time clothes had come off. he went down on me again, licking from bottom to top. it felt fucking amazing as his moist tongue licked me everywhere, especially when he sucked on my clit. after he gave me amazing head, i figured he needed it. i went down on him, licking his balls, sucking his dick making him writhe under me. he hadn't come in almost 2 weeks, he was in dire need of release.

as i made my way up, he got on top and slowly slid his dick up against me. he teased me; putting the head in then pulling out. finally, he shoved his cock deep inside me and fucked me. he stopped, saying he was already close. i decided to take matters into my own hands; with him on top, i moved my hips up and down and squeezed so he felt all kinds of amazing pressure. he moaned and i knew it felt good.

he got up and led me off the bed. i found myself bent over with him behind me fucking me with need. after a few hard pumps in my cunt he whispered, "i'm going to come." he pulled out and i quickly knelt down in front of his hard, wet cock. he jacked off and pulled my head onto his dick. at that moment, come poured from his dick into my eager mouth. there was so much that it spilled from my mouth, down my chin, and onto the floor of the guest room.

it was an amazing night.

you have any tats?

I wish I could respond by saying I have some really awesome tattoo & I can't tell you cause it'll give me away. Unfortunately, I don't have one at all :/

Ask me anything

Would you ever do it with a girl? Maybe as a threesome with Edward?

the only girl that i actually know who i'd be willing to do it with is one of my close friends, we'll call her S. she offered, but in all honesty, i couldn't do it with edward. it would probably ruin us, and i don't want to ever do that.

Ask me anything

...

This is for the person who left me the message on formspring (you know who you are). I would like to talk, believe me. Nothing sexual, just getting to know YOU better, cause you seem like an interesting guy. BUT, my man is slightly uneasy about me blogging in general. He knows you want to fuck me too, and that makes him more uneasy.

Now, I'm not saying I let Edward control me, but I respect him enough to not do something that would make him feel uncomfortable. I would feel uncomfortable if it were the other way around. I'm down for talking through blogger if you'd like. Screen name is too personal, and I know I'd feel guilty if we said sexual things to each other, and I think we would. I'm sorry.

Too bad it doesn't have a chat thing there.

Ask me anything

Good Friday

as i showed him my curvaceous tits, he told me he was ready to go. i stripped, spread my legs, put the camera between my legs, and showed him my pussy.

we watched each other masturbating with low moans. he came a delicious load, and i came shortly after as he said dirty things to me.

i know, it's not detailed, but i'm too dead to write more. it was pretty hot though. and yes, i know i need to post on our first date. it was so fucking good, i want to keep it to myself just a little bit longer ;)

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Ask me anything http://formspring.me/racyrendezvous

Ecstasy Review

so on the friday after edward got here, we picked up some trojan ecstasy condoms. i really thought these were gonna blow our minds and feel amazing. boy was i wrong.

first, they're kinda big. edward is average down there, and these appeared to be for like a fat sausage. the shape is just odd, and really loose at the top (see image at the right).

second, while we went at it, the sensation felt nice. i thought, alright, i can ignore the size and looseness since it does feel good. however, after we finished our first round and tried to fuck again later, it was weird. i felt mentally turned on. ever down there felt turned on, but i wasn't wet. inside i was a little, but when i rubbed myself it hurt, and i couldn't get a finger in. when edward tried to push himself into me, it fucking killed. i felt like i was losing my virginity all over again. even when he licked me down there, it hurt. fingers, tongue, dick all hurt me. even when i touched myself it really hurt. i wasn't wet and i felt so much discomfort in my lady bits. it felt incredibly tender and sore.

i had him check me out down there and he said it looked red and swollen. i had an allergic reaction to the lubricant. the lubricant is different from the one on the trojan ultra ribbed condoms, and it totally made me swollen down there :( to say the least, it killed the mood. we couldn't have sex even though i was so turned on, it just hurt too fucking much. so, we're sticking to the ultra ribbed ones. i would not recommend the ecstasy ones if you have sensitive skin down there. it's not that much of a difference and certainly not worth the discomfort/pain.

god damn that's a big picture of the condom. too bad it won't let me size it down. arrg.

F & G spot marks the spot

last night as i gave edward his final blow job for three months, i let my tongue glide over his frenulum. i sucked, licked, and nibbled lightly this sweet little hot spot as i played with his balls. it goes without saying that he fucking loved it. i did this for a while, and when i came up to see how i was doing, he told me he was really close to coming. not long after he fucked me bent over, he turned me around and jacked off a yummy load into my mouth (yes i've swallowed about 6 or 7 times while he's been here).

he also fingered me in the most vigorous fashion last night, and it was something different but oh so fucking pleasurable. he took two fingers and shoved them in and out of my cunt really hard. it was pure fucking bliss. he hit my g spot over and over again, god his hands work magic.

side note: he gave me a compliment the other night. he told me i have always been amazing at sucking cock, but every time i go down on him, i do it that much better. it's safe to say i'm good at giving head ;)

p.s. i need to give my review on trojan ecstasy condoms. let's just say it definitely brought on a feeling alright...

Exhaustion

i feel exhausted. 3 hours of sleep doesn't do the body good. i've cried so much in the past two days, and it has physically drained me of all energy. i think this morning's goodbye was the hardest one so far, which led to more tears. i love him, more than i have ever loved anyone or anything.

last night as we lay in his bed, i saw he had a eyelash on his cheek.

"make a wish."

"i already have my wish."

god damn he's good, and it made me cry, because i know that he really loves me, and that isn't always the easiest thing to come by.

as we said goodbye this morning, we didn't want to let go. the tsa guy that checked him in at the security check point said something to him and nodded to me. i later found out he asked "will you come back for her?" his answer: "of course." as he climbed the escalator, we said our last i love yous & i saw him cry for the first time.

i feel depressed at the moment, and it sucks. i know it'll pass, and i know that i can make it three months since i've done it about 4 times now, but right now i just feel so fucking down. i get so used to him being here, i can just walk into his room at any point and kiss his gorgeous face. i can lay with him until 1 in the morning with his arms wrapped tightly around my body and know nothing can get to me. i'm with him all the time when he's here, and it's hard to not grow dependent of that.

i really cannot wait to graduate to be with him. i want him forever, and he wants the same.

sigh.

How did you decide your college major?

i always loved psych, and was always incredibly interested in sexuality. i started pre med & it took me 2 years to realize what i really wanna be. so, a psych major and a minor in lgbit studies seems to suit me.

Ask me anything

Lesson

i've learned an incredibly important lesson today: make sure no one, i.e. your dad, will be coming home when you decide to hop in the shower with your man.

i don't think they know, but i have this slight feeling my brother does. sigh.

Updates

sorry i've been lagging on posting, just been incredibly busy with finals. i finished two today, and i already know i got an A+ in my music class. pretty bomb :)

let's see....we've been having sex pretty much everyday with the exception of last night. my poor baby is sick :/

i'll give you guys the jist of what's been going on:

sloppy, wet blow jobs. ones that make his entire body twitch in pleasure. i've also found that i'm quite into licking his balls and he likes it too. he digs his fingers into my body whenever i do it, i'm going to take it as a sign that he realllyyyy likes what i'm doing ;)

i've had my daily orgasms, which rock my entire body.

and, we've had great sex. like great sex. the other night we actually made love. we hardly ever do it; it's not that we don't like it, it's that we are always caught up in the moment of hard fucking. anyways, we made sweet, passionate love. it was sooo romantic, and for the first time ever, i cried during sex. i cried as he made love to me because i knew and i know that in a few short days he's going to leave me. it was the most passionate thing we have ever done. he whispered i love you to me and i did the same. i have to say, it was perfect. the crying didn't even kill the mood; he knew where the tears came from. i'm actually tearing up right now because i hate thinking that he's leaving in just 3 days. i don't wanna even look back at him right now because i know it makes him sad to see me cry. sigh.

i still need to post our first day. i keep lagging it, but then again i've been so busy with finals. i'll do it when he leaves probably.

hope you're all doing well ! drop by formspring & ask me something :)

Recap

recap of last night & tonight:

• fingers in my cunt
• my mouth on his dick
• 69 foreverrr. & amazing 69 at that
• reverse cowgirl, a first & very amazing as well
• doggy style
• him on top
• cum shooting down my throat

that about sums it up. i'm too tired to go into detail. but, i will post on our first night, just not tonight. i know, ima tease ;)

Tonight

me crawling into bed with him and sliding his fingers down my panties.

him shoving his cock down my throat, making me choke.

me laying down on the floor for him to eat me.

him licking me from bottom to top, making me moan.

me feeling him thrust inside of me.

him flipping me onto my side to fuck me like that.

me loving every second of it.

him telling me he wanted it in my ass now.

me bent over on all fours taking it in the ass.

him thrusting while i squeeze, fucking my ass like crazy.

me dripping wet from it.

him coming in my ass.

me coming as he rubs my clit.

us both dead tired from an amazing fuck.

i'm getting wet just thinking about it ;)

ps. yes we have fucked since he has been here. yes it has been amazing. yes i will probably post on it, but i haven't decided. enjoy my slutty readers ;)

Wax

i got my lady bits waxed today and it looks so nice & clean ! i love the feeling of no hair down there. i'm sure edward will love it tonight ;)

in about 5 hours i will be seeing him, and i am incredibly excited. i'm sure i'll be blogging about all of our sexcapades within the next 11 days ;)

List

here's a list of things i need to bring to hotel on friday:

• lube
• handcuffs
• sex position book
• blindfold
• vibrator (possibly)
• lingerie i may or may not get into

i think that's it. should be a very fun day ;)

less than 48 hours & he's mine.

Four

geeze, i always cave. i was super horny all day yesterday. like alllll day. so i touched myself and had 4 wonderfully amazing orgasms.

i'm done this time, i swear.

Oh.My.God.

wow. that is pretty much all i can muster up to say at this second. few things:

1. i lost tonight.
2. i'm gonna be his slut all day friday.
3. i'm not going to touch myself until thursday night.

let's start with numero uno. he came home and we started chatting and after ten minutes or so, he started saying dirty things to me. i could feel everything build in me; i could feel my clit throbbing and my pussy starting to soak. his words got me going so badly.

"baby, i need you to touch your clit for me. i just need it. please, for me. this isn't a matter of winning or losing, i need you to do it."

i protested and made him promise i wouldn't lose, but he wouldn't do it.

"i'm taking control. i'm dominating you right now. this isn't a request, it's a command. do it."

i was fucking dying. i did what he wanted, i rubbed my clit, and oh.my.god it felt fucking amazing.

"baby you are turning me on so much. i wanna eat your pussy so badly. i wanna spread your ass and lick it and then fuck your ass so hard."

i brought myself to the brink of orgasm and stopped; i didn't want to lose. he started saying dirty things to me again, but this time, he made it clear i'm his and his alone.

"you're mine. i wanna fuck you like the little slut you are. you are my slut. i'm gonna use your body. are you my little slut, baby?"

me moaning into the phone, mmmmmhm as i rub my clit. i stopped again and asked him what is in store for me if i lose right now.

this brings us to two: i'm gonna be his slut. i'm going to have my body fucked in every position imaginable. he's gonna lick my cunt as soon as he gets into the room. he's going to fuck my throat and come all over my face. he's going to bend me over in the shower, eat my ass, fuck it, and then come in it. he's going to handcuff me, lay me on my stomach, and then fuck my ass again. he's gonna go down on me until i come all over his face and then eat my come.

wow. i think losing is winning. so i did just that, i lost. i lost as he said all of those things to me, telling me i'm his slut and he's gonna fuck me so hard. i came incredibly hard from all of it.

he opted to not touch himself. he wants me and me alone to relieve him of this. and we're not waiting until friday. i'm fucking him thursday night, with everyone in the house. i don't give a fuck if people are home, we're going to fuck. and we wanna fuck a lot. i'm gonna ride his cock all night. as we talked about thursday night, i started touching myself again and had another amazingly huge orgasm.

he was dying though, he told me he was trembling and needed my pussy bad. he told me he's been craving it and that's why eating me out is going to be the first thing he does to me. no protests here ;) this leads us to number three, no more for me either. i know i've lost, but since i came twice tonight i can hold out for four more days. in four days he'll be here, and we're going to fuck every day at least once a day. probably 1-2 maybe 3 times a day. i'm looking forward to all of it.

a few side notes: he never calls me his slut. like ever. he's done it once before, but that's it. he's never used the word cock, only dick. and he sure as fuck has never said he might have to gag me in order to keep me from moaning thursday night. i don't know if he's been reading my blog lately, but if he has i'm pretty sure he's gotten the slut thing from some comments on a recent post.

baby, if you're reading this, i'm gonna fuck you like there's no tomorrow everyday you are here.

if he isn't, well i have no idea where all of this came from. he said it's from not doing anything in a while, and because he can't get the image of me naked out of his head. all of this dirty talk worked; i ended up giving in. but like i said, i think losing is winning in my case. i love being dominated. i'll have plenty of days to take control of him ;)

one more thing he said to me: "one day when no one is home and you least expect it, i'm going to go into your room, take off your pants, and fuck you hard. i'm going to be in control of you."

not only is he an amazing boyfriend but he is one helluva lover. he knows how to get me going. he's mine. and i'm his dirty little cock sucking slut.

goodnight ;)

formspring.me

When you Skype sex with edward, do you give head for him to objects? vibe, etc? When Edward cums do you ask him to play his cum?one last thing, I think I finally met somone with sex on teh b

i've never done it over skype, but i have created a video from my cell of my licking something up & down to give him an idea of what i want to do to him.

i don't ask him to play with because i'm not really into that. if i'm there though, i lick it off of him or swallow it.

Ask me anything

formspring.me

Have you ever been watched? Either masturbating, giving head or fucking?

i think a guy saw me giving edward head in his car. i think haha. everything else, not that i know of.

Ask me anything

formspring.me

even if there's a party at your house.you still masturbate?

well i don't really have parties at my house. when i say i do it when people are home, i mean my family as in brother & parents.

Ask me anything

formspring.me

Why don't you touch yourself while watching porn?

i don't know, i just can't. if it turns me on, great, i'll do it once i finish. i just can't imagine me in front of a computer touching myself to porn.

Ask me anything

formspring.me

So even if you're alone outside you will touch yourself?

not outside. i masturbate in the comfort of my own home, even when people are home.

Ask me anything

Tattoo.

i want one. i'm tempted to get one on my side where no one can see. i want a verse from one of my favorite songs. this may be something i'm gonna do. hmm...

formspring.me

So when you watch finish porn then you start touching yourself?

if it's good porn, yes.

Ask me anything

formspring.me

when you're alone and there's no one and have totally nothing to do and feeling horny, do you touch yourself?

alllll the time. i touch myself when people are and aren't here. and i don't necessarily have to be horny, but i'll do it cause it feels good and i feel like have an orgasm.

Ask me anything

formspring.me

Do you like porn? Are you into it?

you know, i've only recently begun to like it. i've been watching it for years though, mainly for "educational" purposes. if it's good porn it'll turn me on and i'll get wet from it. that usually leads to me touching myself. but i don't watch porn and touch myself. i watch it, turn it off, then play with myself.

Ask me anything

Wreck

i an emotional wreck as of the last 10 minutes. tears streaming down my face, deep heavy gasps for breath, and feeling fucked up to the core. what brought this on? i really couldn't tell ya. i break down sometimes and i have no clue as to why. i feel empty when i do, and much of me just wants to forget everything. i know i have some psychological problems. they're not dominant in my life, but when they surface i am a wreck. god bless edward for doing everything he does, including saying things that helps me get through everything.

i find myself terrified that he'll leave me. and it gets to me, because i love him. i know he wouldn't unless i pushed him away, but since he left once before, i can't help but feel that pain once in a while.

"do this one thing for me: tell me how much you need & love me. i need it right now. i need to know i'm the one."

"youre so the one (insert heart he sends me here) i love you like no other."

those words are music to my ears. and just like that, i feel eternal love.

i know, i'm a wreck.

formspring.me

so what are the most revealing cloths you worn out before?

I've worn an incredibly short dress that shows off my tits & ass. it's grey & black and has a zipper down the middle that leaves little to the imagination ;)

i have worn lingerie out in public, but that was for halloween ;)

Ask me anything

Almost there

in about 9 days my edward will be here kissing me, making love to me, holding my hand, laying with me, watching movies with me, doing everything with me. i miss him more than anything, and i am dying to see him. 2 and a half months wasn't so bad, but boy do i fucking miss him. i cannot wait for the day that we finish school and move into together. i just want him, that's all.

i'm in a sappy mood, sue me.

formspring.me

have you ever been bent over something and fucked? Couch, table, etc.

All the time, over tables and counters. I love being bent over and pushed up against a wall, like he can't wait anymore and just needs to have me now. I've been bent over roughly, had a dick shoved into me, have my hair pulled, and get fucked ruthlessly. It may not be over something, but doggy style any way feels amazing.

Ask me anything

formspring.me

Boy shorts, panties, g-string? Do you wear lingerie?

Boy shorts. They're sexy, and make my ass look great. My favorite undergarment lately are these incredibly soft panties from VS that make my ass look great too ;)

I wear g-strings & sexy lingerie for Edward ;)

Ask me anything

formspring.me

do you sometimes don't wear bra or panties and go out?

I always wear a bra cause my tits are too big to go without a bra. I've gone commando before, but not often. It's not the comfiest thing in the world haha

Ask me anything

formspring.me

where did you masturbate outside the most daring one.

I have never like full-on masturbated and came in public. But, I have fingered myself in the car in front of Edward.

Ask me anything

formspring.me

how many times did you masturbate in your 12 hour grace period?

4 times. I was going to when I got home from work but I was dead tired. Those orgasms wore me out ;)

Ask me anything

formspring.me

how many times do you masturbate a day?

It depends. If I do masturbate, one to two times a day. But there are days where I don't feel like it. On average I probably do it about 5-6 times at the least per week.

Ask me anything

Pass

he's giving me a 12 hour pass to masturbate as much as i want, without losing. holy shit! i'm off to relieve all my sexual frustrations ;)

*edited*

i felt my wet pussy in dire need to be touched. i stuck a finger in, playing with myself, but then moving to my hot spot. i touched my clit for no less than three minutes and had a huge orgasm. my body jolted, my muscles spasmed, and i felt that amazing feeling wash over my entire body.

i enjoyed it so much i went back and had another huge orgasm. i'm still aching for more, and i have until 1:29 am to touch myself all i want. i believe i'm gonna be doing this alllll day ;)

formspring.me

mmm what's your stand on double penetration??? Have you done it before? btw i LOVE this background image!!! =D totally hot!

I haven't done it, but I think it looks fun. Maybe it's something I'll bring up to Edward and see if he'd be down for it. I have a feeling it would feel amaaaazing ;)

Thank you, i find it totally hot too ;)

Ask me anything

formspring.me

what kind of music is the best to fuck too?

Hmmm. Honestly, I've never fucked to music. But I would imagine anything sensual or erotic. Check out http://thesecretiveslut.blogspot.com for their top choices to fuck to.

Ask me anything

formspring.me

I forgot to include more than one guy at once...

which is a no. Maybe if I wasn't in a relationship ;)

Ask me anything

formspring.me

blue all shades...Which of the following things do you want to try sexually...Threesome? Couple Swapping? Videotaping? Sex in public? More than one guy at once?

Threesome, if I didn't have a boyfriend. I know myself too well, a threesome would kill our relationship. I love him too much. But I did have one of my good friends offer, and as tempting as it was, I couldn't. He agrees though, a threesome would destroy what we have.

Couple swapping, no. I'm personally not into watching another woman fuck him. He's mine.

Videotaping, fuck yes! We always mean to but we get sidetracked in the moment :/ But we definitely want to make a video and take some very dirty pictures of our rendezvous.

Sex in public, another fuck yes! I've blown him in public, and he's fingered me in public, but I want a full on fuck in public. I think I'm going to try on my campus. Or a park at night ;)

Ask me anything

About Formspring

i'm not going to post every answer on here, only the ones i find relevant to this blog. i will answer all questions, which can be viewed here. Ask away!

formspring.me

Do you consider yourself submissive? Are you a dom? Have you experimented with BDSM with your bf? Or other guys?

Definitely. I always want Edward to have his way with me. I love having him shove his dick down my throat and have me take it. I love being used.

As far as being a dom goes, I'm still up in the air about it. Of course I like getting my way, which is why I want to win this bet so badly. There are times when I really want my way so I do everything in my power to get him to do it my way, but it's not all the time.

We've used handcuffs (me and Edward), but that's about it. I'm not so much into using nipple clamps, strap-ons, or full on body rope. Handcuffs are fun though, they let one of us be bonded without getting too much into BDSM.

Ask me anything

formspring.me

Do you enjoy giving oral sex? And if so, do you swallow or like it when Edward finishes on you?

I LOVE giving head. Like, a lot. I personally feel if he's not coming inside me, it's a waste, and therefore I want it down my throat. I love how he tastes, but there are sometimes when I want a facial. And I have had him finish on my chest. Sometimes, it just happens ;)

Ask me anything

Frustration!

i'm so horny. ugh. i wanna touch my clit so badly!

can't do it, must not lose bet.

formspring.me

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/racyrendezvous

Postponement.

we totally caved tonight. he showed me his dick, i showed him my cunt, and well, we had amazingly hot video sex. no words were needed. the sounds of a wet pussy, and friction between his dick and hand was all the sounds we needed. i had a huge orgasm, which in turn triggered his. i looked up just in time to see that white load shoot all over his belly.

i can't believe how strong my orgasm was, but then again i haven't done it in over a week and i've been reallllyyy horny. we decided to postpone our bet tonight because we were both in dire need of some relief. the bet starts again, like right now. so no more masturbating for 19 days. let's see how long we last this time ;)

side note: had he not brought up postponing it tonight, i wouldn't have done it. i was really going to not do it, and i figured if i could not do it last night when i was soaking my panties, i could definitely make it three weeks. he obviously needed it. then again, spreading my cunt for him must have got him goin' ;)

Torture.

edward came home last night incredibly horny. maybe it was those x-rated pictures i sent him earlier in the afternoon, or maybe it's the fact that he hasn't touched himself in well over a week. whatever it was, he was really horny, and decided he would say dirty things to me.

as much as i want to write everything, i'm not going to. if i think about it, i start to get wet, and i'm not going to lose this bet. i started to soak through my panties last night as he said incredibly hot & dirty things to me. at one point he said he'd let me do it tonight if i want to, but he wouldn't because that means he'd lose the bet. both of us set on winning means no phone sex.

i have to admit, he really tried to get me to cave. i know he was horny, but that man has wayyy more willpower than i do. i drifted off with wet panties and a throbbing clit. thanks babe, real nice, haha.

The Bet.

it's that time again, me and edward making our bet. only this time, it's longer. the bet is to go 3 entire weeks without touching ourselves, that means no phone or video sex OR private masturbation. the prize: the loser has to be the winner's sex slave for the entire first day we fuck.

i love the prize, but 3 weeks? i'm gonna die. i had such a hard time with doing 1 week, but i am determined to win this. he thinks i won't, but at the same time he wants me to. he sent me this text when we made the bet:

"i'm challenging you. who ever loses is the others slave for the first day. i like that. i want you to win."

he wants to be my sex slave? oh my god, i can already think of all things he's gonna do to me when i win. he really thinks i'm going to lose. but i know this, he's definitely not going to make it 3 weeks. i know him, he can't. it's been about a week since he has, and i give it another week tops before he explodes (pun intended).

i do have a hard time not touching myself. i love how i feel, i love the wetness, everything. i honestly love my pussy, i think it looks good ;) so i just have to make sure i go without it longer than he can. but my own goal is to not do it until i see him. i think it's doable, but it's going to be fucking hard.

he's already trying to get me to cave. he sent me this text today:

"i can't wait to kiss you. down from your neck. across your tits, down your stomach. spread your legs. suck on your clit. finger your pussy. lick you."

i knew what he was up to so i sent him one back saying, "nice try."

his response: "it's not a try. i'm going to bend you over. lick everything i want. and i'm going to fuck you, hard. i'm going to cum inside you. then go down on you again."

he's fucking good, and he knows i have a weakness for dirty text messages. he succeeded, it totally turned me on. but i am not going to give in. i think i'm gonna prance around naked tonight in front of him on skype so he caves ;)

when i win i'm gonna make sure i get everything i want that first day. i want rough, dirty, mind blowing sex. i want to feel his tongue wash over my pussy and my asshole. i want him to shove his dick into my cunt, and then down my throat, forcing me to swallow his cum. i want him to run his hands all over my body while he fucks me. i want to tie him up with our handcuffs and torture him until he is begging me for release. i'm gonna get it all.

wish me luck ;)

TMI Tuesday

1. Have you had sex with another person in 2010? Have you passed on an opportunity to sex with another person in 2010? edward & me rang in the new year with anal sex ;)


2. What is the funniest thing you have ever said or done during sex? (Orgasmic facial expressions do not count.) i don't know but we have sex where we laugh somewhat often.


3. What is the first thing you notice about a member of the opposite sex? smile & lips.


4. What is the best pick-up line you have ever heard? Every used? Ever been used on you? awe man, i heard a really good one but i totally forgot it :/


5. Where is the most unique you have ever had sex? the sex motel we frequent. not unique, but then again we haven't fucked many places. my goal is to take him on campus & fuck him in a class room while he's here.

Bonus (as in optional): Do you pee in the shower? If so, has any SO known that you pee in the shower? Has any SO peed in the shower? haha, no i do not, but i'm sure many people do.

to come this week:

THE BET

Spread Em

"spread your pussy for me. let me see it."

i spread my inner lips revealing my pink, juicy pussy.

"i wanna stick my tongue deep inside it and lick it. god, i wanna fuck you so bad."

i angle the camera and spread everything for him, showing my tight asshole and wet pussy.

"play with yourself. think of me fucking your ass and coming inside it. imagine me forcefully pushing you down on your knees and sticking my dick deep down your throat."

i obey what he asks and play with myself, sticking two fingers deep inside my cunt for him to watch.

"when i see you, i want you to strip us naked and give me the most mind blowing head ever."

i say mmm but i have other plans in mind; i think a nice lap dance prior to mind blowing head will blow his mind even more.

"i'm gonna pound your ass in 4 weeks."

i continue to play with myself, giving him what he wants. the deep breath he takes in right before he comes is my signal to go faster, so he sees me rubbing my clit hard while he blows delicious come all over his tummy.

mmm.

Oh God.

i did the most embarrassing thing on skype tonight, in front of edward. thank god he has a sense of humor and couldn't help but laugh and make jokes about.

it was pretty funny though, haha.

TMI Tuesday (By Edward)

i got him to answer my questions for me. these are his (lame) answers ;)

1. When you masturbate, how long, typically, is your session and what do you think about (other than having an orgasm)?

10 seconds.

2. Have you ever been "caught" masturbating?

15 times.

3. Have you ever masturbated in front of your computer? If 'yes' was it for your own purposes or for someone's viewing pleasure?

500,000 times.

4. Have you ever attended a group masturbation party? Same-sex or mixed?

about 500.

5. When masturbating, as you reach orgasm, do you continue to stimulate yourself without interruption, or do you stop and apply pressure until your spasms subside? Or?

i yell "bazinga!"

6. Have you ever video'ed yourself while masturbating (solo)? Where are they now?
i refuse to answer.

Bonus (as in optional): How often do you use the word "fuck" (or its derivatives) in casual conversation - frequently, occasionally, rarely, never.

i usually say fuckzinga,

my boyfriend is so dumb, really, he wouldn't answer any of my questions seriously :/

TMI Tuesday

1. When you masturbate, how long, typically, is your session and what do you think about (other than having an orgasm)?

depends. if i want it long and drawn out it can last a good 10 minutes. but on average, about 3-5 minutes. mainly i think about fucking edward.

2. Have you ever been "caught" masturbating?

i think my mother has haha

3. Have you ever masturbated in front of your computer? If 'yes' was it for your own purposes or for someone's viewing pleasure?

yessum, all for edward ;)

4. Have you ever attended a group masturbation party? Same-sex or mixed?

no i have not.

5. When masturbating, as you reach orgasm, do you continue to stimulate yourself without interruption, or do you stop and apply pressure until your spasms subside? Or?

i stop and let it keep building. i can bring myself over the edge fairly quickly, so i stop to let it build up so it's incredibly strong.

6. Have you ever video'ed yourself while masturbating (solo)? Where are they now?
no video, not yet at least ;)

Bonus (as in optional): How often do you use the word "fuck" (or its derivatives) in casual conversation - frequently, occasionally, rarely, never.

frequently, i have a sailor's mouth.

Request

oh readers, my life has been nothing but work, school and tests. forgive me for not having any posts lately. hopefully i can think of something to write soon. maybe a hot session with edward? let me know if that sounds good ;) actually, if any of you have a request blog, i think i'm up for it!

Emotions

Sigh, i hate being emotional. i get so emotional during my period, and of course i get upset with poor edward. at least he forgives me & loves my crazy ass (literally & figuratively of course) ;)

5 weeks & i see my babe & i'll make it up to him somehow ;)

oh yeah, i bet him head over something and i lost. so i'll have to let you guys know about the mind blowing head i give him when he's here. maybe he'll even write it himself for you guys. slim chance, but i can dream, can't i?

Subconscious

i can be a pretty paranoid gal sometime. okay let me rephrase that, i can be paranoid a little too often, for my likings at least. today i realized i was 5 days late and i started to get paranoid about being pregnant.

sure, i got my period while i was there. but what if it was implantation bleeding?
sure, we used a condom. but that was when he knew he was going to need one.
sure, i'm probably overanalyzing every little thing; the tenderness in my breasts, the fatigue, the cramping in my uterus. all of which sounds like a normal period, but what if it's not? i never have tenderness in my breasts. and i sure as fuck don't ever have a slight feeling that i may be pregnant. and then it all hit me, what if i am? i really felt that i was. i just had this feeling and i had felt that way for a few days. but after 5 days of a missed period and plenty of semi-safe sex, i thought it was time to take a test.

my fears were relieved when i took a pregnancy test: i'm definitely not pregnant. (funny side note: i bought a test and when i sat down to pee i realized right then and there that my period had started. i took the test anyway but am slightly annoyed i wasted money to get my period haha). when i told edward he was very calm and he knew all along that i wasn't. which if i was, would be something else. i'm young, i have so many aspirations, what would i have done?

i realized something though, i want a baby. not just in a few years, i want one now. i'd be perfectly content having one right now. i know, i sound nuts. the thought of having a baby now doesn't scare me, it's the thought of telling my parents and having to put my dreams on hold for a while that's scary. i secretly wished i was. and i know where it all came from. this past month i've seen babies left and right, attended a baby shower, and have just been going gaga for babies. i love children, not in some sick way but i want to be a mother. and when the idea came into my head i think i milked it and played up my symptoms. not on purpose of course but subconsciously (totally analyzing myself right now). the subconscious is a crazy place.

and i think another part was to see how edward would react and what he would do. i know, it sounds horrible, like i'm putting him through a test. but to be honest, i didn't think of all of this when i told him everything today. i really think this was all an act of my subconscious. i didn't want him to prove anything to me because i know he'd be there. however, in the past he couldn't even talk about children so i never really knew how he'd react.

he was the most supportive boyfriend ever, and i couldn't thank him enough for keeping his cool and not getting all worked up when i was. he was calm, and got me to do one thing at a time. when i asked him what would he do if i was and wanted to keep it he told me he'd be there for me no matter what. i know i have an amazing boyfriend, and this just proves* it all :)

*again, i didn't consciously do it for him to prove it to me or because i wished i was pregnant. i analyzed myself afterwards because i realized i was being too paranoid over all of this and these made the most sense. i could be wrong but i don't think i am.

Delicious.

there is nothing hotter than watching edward stoke his dick in front of me & shooting cum all over the place. thick, white, delicious cum.

Shadow.

i've been lagging it a little too much, blame midterms this upcoming week. but i do have a little something for you all: a new video sex post ! ;)

this past week one day me and edward were on skype talking when we started to get a lil frisky. i showed him my tits, and he showed me his dick which was nice & hard. he began stroking it for me, which got me wet. i could feel it down there, my clit pulsing, everything starting to feel moist, he definitely knows how to turn me on.

i have a hard time coming with the camera between my legs, so i opted to have him just say dirty things without the camera. he said hot, dirty things that had me coming within a few minutes.


"i wanna lick your pussy and get you all worked up then shove my dick deep inside you.

when i'm about to come, i wanna pull out and shove it into your mouth, making you choke on my dick, and then come down your throat.

i wanna bend you over and fuck your ass and come deep inside it.

i wanna eat your pussy then lick your ass.

i want you so bad, god i'm gonna fuck you hard when i see you."


i was so worked up and wet that i couldn't hold back and i came pretty hard. he still hadn't so i decided to give him what he wants: a hot view of my pussy. i positioned my laptop in between my legs and rubbed my clit for him.


"what do you want me to do to you?"
"stick your fingers inside my pussy like this, first one finger then two. and lick my clit softly while you finger me gently. and fuck my ass."
"you should show me exactly what you want me to do to you. and, stick your finger up your ass for me."


so i did what he wanted; i spread my cheeks and showed him my asshole and then stuck a finger that had lube all over it up my tight little hole. and then played with my clit with my other hand. i told him how badly i want to suck his dick and fuck him in every way possible. he told me i was turning him on so much, and within a few minutes he came a delicious load all over his tummy.

the best part? the light that was shining made a shadow of his dick on his wall. after he came he still had a little come hanging off of him. the shadow on the wall of come hanging off his dick looked so fucking hot.

Words Don't Do Justice

to describe my love for edward. a beautiful night with him leaves me breathless of words. the look in his eyes as he told me he loves me and will love me forever has left me so grateful for an everlasting love. i am madly in love with him, and no fight matters, because in the end it's just me and him.

sigh, what i would give to be intertwined with him this very second.

Sex Aside.

i really love edward. the last two days he's been so sad and it's a culmination of being stressed over money, school, his dog, his family, and me not being there :( when he told me last night and the night before that he misses me so much, i could hear the sadness in his voice. i know that feeling all too well. it sucks. i only wish i could be there to hold his hand and lay with him all day.

oh how i miss him.

Sex On The Mind.

so since i'm not having sex for the next 3 months i've decided to write a different kind of blog today, specifically about edward. it's going to be everything i love about him, but in regards to sex and that delicious body that brings me amazing pleasure ;)

on christmas eve me and him were in my room in my cousin's house. every few seconds he'd try and slip his fingers into my pants. i was beyond wet.

in the movies when my little brother got up to go to the bathroom, he stuck his fingers down my pants and fingered me, making me soaking wet.

after dinner on christmas day, we walked out of friday's and he smacked my ass hard and told me he was frustrated and was going to take it all out on me. i love being used by him ;)

i love how whenever we're about to fuck he has this look on his face: his mouth agape, eyes fixed on mine, looking like he's about to fuck me into unconsciousness. that look, god, it's fucking hot.

i love how when i was straddling him his finger ended up in my ass.

i love being fucked rough, and he fucks me hard. we fuck more than we make love, and it's insane. the thrusting, the moaning, the hair pulling, biting, licking, sucking. it's turning me on just thinking about it.

i love when i give him head and he pushes my head down al the way, making me choke.

i love when he comes in my mouth. his warm, tasty come filling my mouth and making it's way down my throat.

when he came in my ass, i nearly died. i love the feeling of it spurting inside me.

i love that he bites me everywhere. my ass, lips, neck, tits, hips, thighs, you name it.

i love how he craves my pussy and changes up his routine when he finally licks it. he goes slow, then fast, then takes my clit into his mouth and sucks hard.

i love when he's on top and i want a kiss he resists by fucking me harder so i can't prop myself up.

i love watching him fuck me. the faces he makes, the look in his eyes, his hunger for me.

doggy style in front of a mirror is fucking hot ;) especially when he pulls my hair.

i love wearing lingerie for him. when he sees me in it, his eyes pop, his dick grows, and his mouth is open. and then, he tears everything off and fucks me like crazy.

i love that he adores my body and grabs onto it every chance he gets. i especially love when he smacks my ass and leaves it stinging ;)

i love his dick. i love the length, the taste, the feel. i love how it feels in my mouth, my pussy, and my ass. i love the curve of it and how the head is incredibly smooth.

i love when he fucks me and then fucks my face.

i love stroking his dick in the car in broad daylight.

i loved fucking him in my house when everyone was home.

i love subtly grinding into him in public and feeling him grow against my ass.

i love just grinding into him in a thong. he loves that too.

lap dances are fun ;)

i love oiled up sex; slipping and sliding all over each other.

i love how he makes me come and keeps rubbing my clit even when it's sore.

i love when we shower and he bends me over and just pounds into me.

i think there is so much more but those are just the ones coming to mind right now. believe me, our sex life is amazing. i'm gonna fuck his brains out in march.

Ask me anything,

http://www.formspring.me/racyrendezvous

"Oh, Hello."

we had wonderful video web sex again. i stripped down and played with my tits and spread my ass cheeks for him while he sat there with his 'eyes popping out.'

"you don't look like you're really into it."

"i am, don't you see my eyes popping out of my head?"

"well, i'm looking for something else."

he got up and showed me his rock hard dick waiting to be touched. i told him to close his eyes and i put my laptop right in between my legs and started to finger myself.

"open your eyes."

"Oh, hello. yeah that's really nice."

he looked so turned on. he moved the camera so it was on his dick and i could watch him stoke himself. we did this silently since people were up in both of our houses and just watched each other.

"your pussy looks so good."

(i fucking love when he says things like that to me. it drives me up the wall.)

"i wanna eat it. i love you, so much. and i'm gonna fuck you hard."

i moaned and went so much faster. i love watching him but when we're doing video or phone sex, i need to hear him say dirty things. he likes to hear me moan, so usually he says things and i moan haha. it was pretty fucking hot. he came a little bit before me, another huge load. i always wanna lick it off of him ! i finished with a pretty decent orgasm ;)

I think I'm in love.

i am loving this new blog i read, and i think you all will too. check out The Secretive Slut for your own viewing pleasure. this incredibly hot, artistic couple are fairly newish (i think? correct me if i'm wrong jezebel!) and i'm loving their writing styles. jezebal and cane have video wednesdays and pic fridays where they pic out videos and pics and tell everyone what turns them on about it. very sexy posts ;)

and i think i have a girly crush on jezebel ;) she seems like this balls out chick who knows exactly what she wants: a rough fuck. after reading her introduction post, i feel like i relate with her. i want edward to fuck me hard and not stop. i absolutely loved when i gave him head in his car, and when a car drove by he pushed my head down farther, choking me on his cock. i love when he takes control and gets exactly what he wants. i love fucking him.

anyways, i think you all would really enjoy reading it so check it out !

ps. i haven't had anything to post since i've been sick and my sex life is obviously lacking :/ but i think i'm going to post about one of our fuck sessions another day, but a far more detailed one ;)

Memories.

i skimmed a lot of my older posts about me and edward and it made me cry. i forgot how bad it was, and when i skimmed some of these posts, memories flooded my head. those memories are still painful because they really weren't that long ago.

the uncertainty i felt, the uncertainty he felt, the effect of his family, all of it. it was so hard for both of us.

i am happy to say we are way beyond that, and couldn't be any happier, well we could if we lived by one another. but really, i am madly in love with my edward and truly happy with him.

Yummy.

Last night me and edward had webcam sex. He was so cute, the way he initiated it. He told me he needed to show me "something," so he stood up and showed me his delicious dick. I hate having webcam sex with the laptop in between my legs so he opted to watch me instead. I watched him stoke his hard dick until he finally came a huge load on his belly. I came right after him, which I think made him come a little more.

I really wanted to like all of it off his stomach. I love how he tastes.

I miss Him.

i miss my edward already and it's been like 2 days. boooo. i just wanna go back, like right fucking now. i got so spoiled seeing him almost everyday and now i don't get to see him for 3 months :/ sigh. but we're gonna have a skype date tonight so i'll be a bit happier once i see his gorgeous face :)

on another note, i start school tomorrow too so i shall be quite busy again, but i'm sure i'll be updating now and then. no sex posts though, unless it's phone sex ;) i'm totally dying to get it in the ass right now though ;)

Happy New Years!

i had an amazing past two days with edward. we had some delicious tex mex with his friend and his girlfriend and spent the night together for the first time. i kinda want to keep all the romantic stuff to myself because i want to relish in it, but i will say that i have never felt so connected to him in the one year i've been with him. we made love without even having sex, and it was truly amazing.

however, i will tell you this: my ass hurts. and it's not from being spanked. he fucked my ass last night twice and i am definitely sore. after he finally got it in and i loosened up a bit, i really enjoyed it. he fucked me hard too, and came in my ass. it felt so hot and warm shooting up into my ass, totally hot ;) i know i constantly say i was so close to coming but really, i was. if he had gone maybe 5 more minutes i think i would have. my pussy was clenching up and i felt sensations throughout my entire body. i'm actually dying for an orgasm right now. i had my period last night and there was no way he was fucking me in my pussy. i think i'm going to shower and do it right now, i'm still horny after last night. we'll be trying anal a lot from now on ;)

hope you all had a fun & safe new year :)