my mother blew my engine last night. basically, the thermostat housing on my car was cracking (this is where antifreeze is) and when it broke, the hose connected to it with all of the antifreeze busted open and lost all of the antifreeze. while that happened, the engine was overheating and literally melted. my engine is shit. my dad told me that it's beyond reparable, fucking awesome. i know it's not my mom's fault, and i'm not mad at her, but my dad told me if she would have just noticed that the temp was rising on my car she totally could have saved it.
the mechanic at the dealer said it was due to catastrophic damage from the thermostat housing piece and right now they're figuring out if my warranty will cover it. if they do, i will be the luckiest girl in the whole fucking world. if not, i'm fucked. a new engine is $2600 plus tax. plus labor. plus no car for over a week. i'm fuckedddddd. me & my mom right now are alternating her car; she takes me to school & goes to work then picks me up later or i take her to work & go to school then pick her up later. it's kinda a bitch but it's manageable. however, there goes my trip to the east coast. i'm so bummed over that. i got my hopes up so high that i was going to see edward in about a month and a half. there's hope, but not a lot.
my & my dad did find a used engine for my car with 29,000 miles for only $600. that is so not bad, and i can afford that! i have $400 right now just to go towards my car. & i'm getting more money from the state in december, so i think i can manage. i'm still without a car but this gives me some hope that everything isn't totally going to shit. my dad is saying i'll have to go about 2 weeks without my car but i'll just have to deal. if GM covers this i can probably get a rental so that'll help. i find out tomorrow if GM will cover it, so let's pray they do! and it's not like it's my fault the fucking thermostat housing was cracking! i didn't do anything to it, and i'm not at 60,000 miles yet, and my warranty is good till i hit that. i really hope it's covered. if not, no edward :(
my second problem as i mentioned in my last post is financial difficulties with my family. over the last year my father has been building a shop with his partner. they've put everything into this business, as in our house. my dad has borrowed over $140,000 from his parents & his brother. and once again, we are completely out of money. we owe so many bills it's ridiculous. and to top it all off, we're at risk of losing our house and basically everything else we own. my dad has been saying this since he started this whole thing and he's freaking out right now. i know i don't care for him as a person, but to see my father cry is heartbreaking. what's worse is hearing him tell my mom if this all falls apart he's going to take his life.
i know my father has always been slightly depressed but i guess i never saw how depressed he really is. and today he admitted to me that if everything goes wrong, he's 'done'. i told him he should think about his kids before he makes a decision like that. i'm terrified, i really am. he doesn't want to suffer, he's suffered through so much, but taking your life and abandoning your family is not the way to go about it. my mom said something to him about leaving us to deal with all of the bullshit & he was like, 'so you'd rather me suffer with you?' he called my mom a sadistic person when she said yes. but i know what she meant, not that she wants him to suffer but that we have to work together as a family to pull through this. worse case scenario, we lose everything so we go back to the east coast. i'm trying not to think about everything falling apart. i don't want to lose it. i need to be strong for my family, especially my mother.
and that leads me to my next thing, my mom is somewhat sick. it's not cancer, thank God, it's inflammation of her small intestine, which can lead to cancer. right now, they don't know what is causing it but she has less pain than she did before so i'm praying her body is just overcoming it on it's own. and she has an infection with her gums, which is costing a grand. everything is seriously falling apart. and i can't do anything to help. i hardly make anything at my little job and the money i got from the state goes towards insurance, school, and now my car. i offered it to my mom but she won't take it. i just feel so helpless, like i can't do anything. i know things will work out in the end, but how long before it stops pouring?
me & my mom were joking today saying it's not just pouring, it's a fucking hurricane. but bright blue skies will soon follow, i hope.
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